Why Digital Literacy Isn’t Enough: Helping Kids Find Purpose in a Tech-Saturated World

When it comes to preparing kids for digital life, we’ve been telling ourselves a comforting story:

If we just teach kids how to use technology safely—how to spot misinformation, protect their privacy, set screen limits—they’ll be fine.

But as a parent, an educator, and researcher who spends a lot of time understanding kids' inner lives, I’m here to say: digital literacy is not enough.

Don’t get me wrong; understanding responsible technology use is an crucial skill. But is not nearly enough when it comes to preparing kids heart and soul for the wild and wooly crazytown that is the online world.

Teaching a kid how to recognize phishing scams or use ChatGPT ethically doesn’t mean they’re ready to manage the emotional weight of a toxic group chat, or the existential crush of comparison on Instagram.

What we’re really talking about—if we’re honest—is readiness. And readiness isn't about skills alone. It’s about the maturity and resilience of the person we’re handing the device to.

When I think about the young people I’ve worked with, I’m not just seeing kids who need more rules or better filters. I’m seeing kids who are craving connection, identity, belonging, agency, and purpose. These are not just abstract ideals—they’re developmental needs. And tech, with all its intensity and reach, now mediates every one of them.

Social media gives kids a way to test out who they are (identity), feel seen by their peers (belonging), express their voice (agency), and even connect to causes or communities that matter to them (purpose). But if they’re not actively supported in these explorations, there is a real risk they’ll try to meet these needs in toxic spaces, like chasing validation from strangers, latching onto extremist communities, or getting pulled into excruciating comparison loops.

These core needs are typically not addressed in school, which is what makes this moment so critical. We can’t afford to treat digital readiness as a checklist of technical skills. We need to reframe it as a transformational journey that helps kids build the inner compass they’ll need to navigate the digital wilderness.

So what does that look like?

It means we stop thinking of the phone as a finish line (“She’s 12, so she gets a phone now”) and start thinking of it as a threshold. It is the beginning of a long journey and a portal into a more complex world. They’ll need time and guidance to grow into it.

It means we support families in having real conversations before the first phone or social media account. Not just about rules, but about values. About identity. About what kind of person you want to be online—and off.

It means we focus less on control, and more on character. On helping kids develop emotional regulation, empathy, critical thinking, and the confidence to be their full selves—not just their highlight reels.

Because the truth is, tech isn’t going away. If anything, it’s getting faster, smarter, and more immersive. But if we want young people to thrive in this environment, they will need more than media literacy. They’ll need meaning and community and opportunities to explore their curiosities. They’ll need adults who are willing to walk with them, not just police them.

This is the shift I’m most passionate about: from managing kids' behavior to mentoring their becoming.

If we get this right, we’re not just preparing kids to use tech safely. We’re helping them grow into people who know who they are, what they care about, and how they want to show up in the world, both online and in real life.